Here's a list of some people I feel really sorry for:

• Michael Jackson's therapist (Who IS that guy? WHAT is that guy?)
• Mike Tyson's accountant (only kidding Mike – really!) 
• The choir director in my church (Would somebody please tell those people the truth about their voices?!)
• Derek Jeter's social secretary (busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest).
• Rosie O'Donnell's personal coach (Where do you begin? When would it end?)
• Here's one just for my friends in Maryland and Virginia: The guys in charge of planning street construction in Montgomery County, Md., and Fairfax County, Va. (Um … sorry fellas. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it's too late!)
• Finally and most importantly: All business leaders who care THAT they are known by others, but don't cultivate HOW they are known by others. 

On that final point: I get frequent inquiries/requests from managers of client companies like this:

 

"Rand, I'd like you to find out what my boss and my co-workers really think of me. All of my performance reviews indicate that I walk on water, but I haven't been promoted in five years. I get a feeling that there's something that I need to know, that I don't know."

 

I'll then request and receive the names of the people I ought to talk to and begin my mission, doggedly pursuing my quarry and relentlessly asking questions until I get to the bottom of things. I almost always end up with a version of my client's "story" that looks nothing like the official, personnel file, performance review, development planning version.

 

I call it their "water-cooler story."

 

Your water-cooler story is the version of you that people talk about when you're not around; it's the version of you that gets whispered or implied with a wince or a shrug.

 

Here's an example:

 

Your company is assembling a product development team. In a meeting, your name gets mentioned as a possible team-leader. Someone — a trusted, credible person — grimaces, implying that putting you in charge would be ill-advised. The idea gets dropped.

 

Another example:

 

Your name is brought up as a promotion candidate for an executive-level job reporting to the CEO. In the discussions of your candidacy that ensue, two of the CEO's "direct reports" bring up examples of past interactions with you that were, according to them, unsatisfactory. As a result, the CEO decides to retain Korn-Ferry to conduct a search for the position that will include both internal and external candidates. He assures you that you remain the primary candidate and that the search is really a formality, a matter of completing a process that will assuredly result in your being offered the position. Korn-Ferry then interviews you, but one of the external candidates gets the job.

 

In both cases, you got zapped by your "water-cooler story."

 

Your initial reaction might be to dismiss these examples as implausible, but don't kid yourself. In large corporations, the official version of your story might inform the size of your raise or the level of your bonus, but the thing that will more often than not determine your career trajectory and velocity is your water-cooler story. You say you're not a Fortune 500 honcho. No problem! Whether you're a business owner, a smaller company manager or a non-managerial professional, the same deal applies. Your WCS will either help secure your success or make your life really difficult.

 

I recommend that you aggressively manage your water-cooler story. Here's how:

 

• Build mechanisms to frequently and systematically procure feedback from constituents.

 

• Ask precise, relevant questions that can catalyze action. "How am I doin'?" isn’t good enough.

 

• Persist until you get to the "brutal truth."

 

• Develop and implement specific plans, using what you learn, to improve your performance.

 

Most people aren't comfortable giving or getting feedback, so they provide it or pursue it (when they actually do it at all) without energy or conviction. In response, they receive generalities that can't be acted upon (of course they can "check the box" when the drill is completed).

 

Poor leaders view feedback as a sign of weakness. You know, trying to please the masses rather than demonstrating a steely core. By indulging their egos and exercising their perogatives, these people undermine success.

 

Great leaders, on the other hand, pursue feedback with vigor, tenacity and insistence. Then they act on what they learn. That's a big part of how they got where they are and, more importantly, how they became who they are. 

 Talk is Cheap: Lead by Example
by Mark Akerley

Last week I was waiting to board a late night flight back to Chicago from Dulles International. While watching passengers deplane from the incoming aircraft that would soon be my plane home, I observed a simple yet poignant lesson in leading by example. 

 

As a hundred or more passengers exited the plane, I noticed that the captain of this Southwest Airlines flight was the last to get off. He exited with a smile on his face and with a cheerful question to the gate attendants, "Hi, do we have four wheelchairs ready to assist our onboard passengers?"  Seeing only two available and in the grasp of an airport porter, he didn’t wait for an answer. The captain quickly grabbed the two wheelchairs and pushed them toward the two Southwest gate attendants and said something like, "If you can assist two of our passengers with these, I'll get us two more to help out with the others." The captain then turned to the porter and put his arm around the young porter's shoulder, as a father would do to a son, and said "Let's go get two more wheelchairs." And they did. They briskly walked off and returned in no time to assist the remaining two passengers, so the rest of us could then board promptly and get on our way.

 

This airline captain certainly knows the mission of Southwest Airlines – dedication to customer service. He knows how to put it into practice. And he and Southwest reap the benefits – 30 years of profitable business. I'm sure he could also teach a course on leading by example!

 

Leading by example is a concept that sounds so simple yet in practice can be difficult to execute. It takes time, focus and action to do it well. So if leading by example is important to you in your business, and I hope it is, here are a few tips to help you hone that very important skill.

 

Become mission-driven and results-focused. Every business has a mission. But is yours simple, clear, action-oriented, measurable – and personally compelling? If it isn't, perhaps it's time to get a new one or get a new business. Your mission should drive results for you and your business. If anyone in or around your business should ever ask, "What do we have to do to be successful?," your mission should be the answer.

 

Assess how you spend your time. As a leader, how and where you spend your time is your greatest statement about what you think is important. It demonstrates your commitment to the mission, values and strategy of your company. Leading by example, or walking the talk, is something all business owners must do to get the best from themselves and those they work with.  How much time do you spend leading by example? Is it sufficient?

 

Ask questions. Leading by example isn't just doing a simple task at hand. It's also engaging others. And the best way to do that is by asking questions. "What do you think?" "Is there a better way to do this?" "What would you do if …?" "Can you help me?" are all great questions to get people engaged. Most importantly, asking questions demonstrates that you care and that you are engaged. That's something that followers expect from their leaders.

 

Look for teaching opportunities. As a business owner, you have strong points of view about running a business. That's why you're a business owner and not an employee. However, not all of those around you always share those same points of view or assign them the same degree of importance that you do. As a leader, you must select those critically important issues to you, whether that's customer service, quality, productivity, etc., and not only tell constituents about them but actually teach them. The simple teaching process – tell them / show them / have them show you / evaluate them – is one you can apply to most any aspect of your business. Identify those important activities in your business that must be done well in order for you to succeed, and then teach others how to deliver.

 

As the old cliché goes, "talk is cheap." But practicing what you preach, or leading by example, sends a clear and powerful message about who you are and what's important to you. That’s what business leaders do.