If You Are Consistently Late, You Are Consistently Rude

Note From Rand

Facebook. Wow – what a concept! If you are not at least beginning to get involved in electronic social networking, you’re missing the boat. If you are a business person and a LinkedIn devotee, I’m sorry to tell you this: LinkedIn is teetering on irrelevance. Too pallid, too passive, too, well, BORING. It doesn’t force you to actually DO anything.

A number of my friends say, “I use Facebook for personal stuff, and I use LinkedIn for business stuff.” When I ask them, “What business stuff?” they say “networking.”

Really?! You fill in your data, you “link in” with other people, and then what happens? NOTHING! It’s a repository. Conversely, I defy you to become a Facebook member and then leave it alone. You can use it for your personal stuff; you can use it for your business stuff. I PROMISE, however, you WILL use it!

If you look at my Facebook page, including my “info page,” you’ll notice that I have encapsulated everything from my favorite movies to my personal beliefs. If you read my Web site and my Facebook page(s), you’ll have a reasonable idea of who I am. If you scan my “friends” list, you’ll see people that, I guarantee you, you didn’t know that I know – unless you happen to be one of those people. Many of them are people with whom I share a deep, common interest in something. Others are current or former clients. Some are family. They paint a picture of me. You have to figure out what that means.

If you fear disclosure or transparency, stay away from Facebook. It’s no fun if it’s used superficially.

Two really good articles this month. The first deals with a rampant corporate affliction: terminal lateness. The second highlights one of my (and perhaps your) ongoing personal struggles, that of “acceptance.”

I’ll see you next month. Until then, get real, get tough and get going!!

Rand Golletz’s Profile | Create Your Badge

Are You Committed to Being Late?!

A couple of years ago, I wrote back-to-back articles on the subject of “commitment.” The thrust was this: When we say we’re going to do something, it’s imperative that we do it, even if the thing seems insignificant. A lot of people responded: “I ALWAYS keep my promises.”

Really?!

I went on to invoke some examples: The mom who promised she’d absolutely be at her daughter’s soccer games, when what she really meant was, if something at work didn’t interfere. The guy (in this case, the example I used was ME) who, in his voice-mail greeting, promised to return all calls within 24 hours and then didn’t. The sales woman who committed to achieve her planned results and then employed every excuse imaginable when she failed

We all blow it now and then. The problem is not that we ought to expect perfection (although we should STRIVE for it). The problem is that many of us have such low expectations of ourselves that breaking commitments either creates no dissonance, or it provokes the creation of feeble excuses. My favorite one: “I’m only human.” When I hear that one, my first thought is: “No, you’re not only human. Humans have free will, the capacity for discipline and the ability to control impulses.”

We take commitments lightly in our society. In a work setting, THE most egregious example of this is “tardiness.” Many executives — I won’t go so far as to say “most,” but it’s close — have no concept of the importance of being on time or the cost to themselves and others for being late. They show up late to appointments scheduled by others. They show up late for appointments or meetings that they schedule themselves. They plan back-to-back meetings, an hour apart, and then just move on to the next one when the current one is finished, expecting that attendees will excuse their behavior, because it’s just part of the way business is conducted today. After all, everyone is busy and everyone is overscheduled. Here are some problems caused by “terminal lateness” that you ought to care about:

• If you are an executive, you have to set an example for others and “lateness” demonstrates a lack of discipline (I define discipline as “doing what needs to be done, the way it needs to be done, when it needs to be done — EVERY TIME!). Remember, people follow examples, not orders.

• Being late demonstrates poor manners. It’s rude. It’s disrespectful of other people’s time.

• Lateness inflicts damage on overall organizational effectiveness and productivity. If everyone is late as a result of your being late, what’s the cost of the cascading consequences?

You might think that “I’m in charge; the big kahuna; the causer of all action and the decider of all decisions. It’s my right to make other people adjust to my schedule. I’m da man.” Remember this: There is no more morally indefensible reason for doing ANYTHING than “because you can.”

If you read this and think “this is all easy for you to say; I don’t really control my time,” you’re a victim. I write this newsletter exclusively for leaders who make a conscious choice not to be victims. These are people who believe in establishing their own rules of engagement; people who believe in self-governance; people who accept the notion that one of our priorities as leaders is to be the productive example for others, not to follow the dysfunctional example of others. Victimhood is diversionary and irresponsible.

One of my mentors, the great Dan Sullivan, crafted what he called his “four rules of referability for entrepreneurs.” Those are:

• Say “please” and “thank you.”

• Do what you say you’re going to do.

• Finish what you start, and

• Show up on time.

How many people do you know that adhere to these admonitions? How about you?

“Acceptance” Has Always Been the Bain of my Existence

There is no formula for success … except perhaps an unconditional acceptance
of life, and what it brings. - Arthur Rubenstein

Per Wikipedia, “acceptance usually refers to cases where a person experiences a situation or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it, protest, or exit. The term is used in spirituality, in Eastern religious concepts such as Buddhist mindfulness, and in human psychology. Religions and psychological treatments often suggest the path of acceptance when a situation is both disliked and unchangeable, or when change may be possible only at great cost or risk. Acceptance may imply only a lack of outward, behavioral attempts at possible change, but the word is also used more specifically for a felt or hypothesized cognitive or emotional state. Acceptance is a key for all family members, because it lets one feel accepted, thus someone may decide to take no action against a situation and yet be said to have not accepted it.”

Yeah, whatever!!!

The truth is, “acceptance” has always been difficult for me. If I accept things/conditions/situations as they are, doesn’t that mean that I’m “throwing in the towel”? I know that it’s emotionally and spiritually unhealthy to obsess over situations – to fixate on how messed up they are. Still, how can anyone say that, in a world with starvation and AIDS and constant war, we should be “accepting”?

In a business context, I was raised to believe that “you plan your work and you work your plan.” How does that notion comport with the concept of acceptance? If you’re off track, aren’t you supposed to do more, work harder and find another way to achieve the results for which you planned? Isn’t acceptance the wuss’s way out?

No, it isn’t! It took years of hard-learned lessons and the development of a modicum of wisdom for me to get there, however.

The truth came to me as I was planning for a meeting with one of my driven, obsessive “type A” clients. “Acceptance” and “resignation” are vastly different.

Acceptance is “giving in to reality.” Resignation is “giving up on possibility.” When I accept things as they are, it means that at any given moment, the world exists precisely as it’s supposed to. Today, I can accept that as truth. I’m at peace with it (or as close to being at peace as I get). It does not stipulate, however, that I have to like it! It does not imply that I should not try really hard to improve tomorrow by the actions I take today. I do not have to be resigned to the continuation of the status quo.

Consider my point of view. If it makes sense, adopt it as your own. In any event, come to terms with the difference between acceptance and resignation and its implications for your life. You’ll be happier – I guarantee it.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 10th, 2009 at 4:57 am and is filed under The Real Deal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.